Satire: BREAKING NEWS, SPECIALIZED TO BUY YETI CYCLES

April 1, 2019 Matthew George

The current Switch Infinity Suspension will be forgone in favor of the older 5.5 style model as Specialized claims to have better spots to put your stupid water.

In a surprise move, Specialized Bicycles has secured a bid to takeover the “Race Bred” boutique manufacturer out of Golden, Colorado. The owner of Yeti is reported as saying something along the lines of “Screw this, I’m so tired of dealing with this shit, I’m buying a Scott Ransom and a mountain house in Jackson Hole”. Many industry insiders, whom are just hearing about this at the time of this writing, are flabbergasted. Yet they remain hopeful that this will mean a Specialized Enduro that isn’t a tank, for 2019. More info will be provided as this story unfolds, also all current Yeti’s are on fire sale on FB Marketplace as of this morning.